Still haven't smoked ! Ha !

And despite what Julien says about getting addicted to gum,I feel great ! Tonight is another challenge : satying in a room full of people -my friends - smoking. But I'm confident, I'll make it. I feel invincible now. The only low is that I don't think my skin looks any better. I guess it was already perfect despite the cigs.

Oh and I bought myself my first 20 euros gift : earrings !

Day 3 !

Today is going to be full of trials, for I am supposed to hang out with the biggest smoker among my friends : Anne-Christine, who used to smoke three packs a day. I took the habit hanging out with her in college, bumming cigarettes from her all the time. I am ready though, I'll have my gum handy in case the urge is too strong. Also I have decided to use the extra money saved every day from not smoking to take lessons. But I still haven't decided what. Martial arts sounds fun.

Thoughts

I realize now that the most difficult thing about quitting smoking is not actually quitting smoking. The physical reaction is not what I miss the most. I miss the little ritual that I have created over the years. I miss thinking about a song I'd like to listen to, the kind of song which makes you feel "infinite", to quote little Charlie, putting that song on, opening the window and finally inhaling on my cigarette while deep in thought. I know the cigarette was just a prop, but it still did its job of allowing me to pause and relax for a moment. I remember Charlotte saying that when she quit smoking she felt weird because she all of a sudden had a lot of time on her hands and she didn't know what to do with it. It's true smoking was not only an activity, but a true lifestyle for me. And that's the most difficult part to give up on actually.

Day 2

I haven't smoked in more than 24 hours and I have to admit I feel very good. No mood swings, no anger or frustration. This means that I can definitely not smoke when on my own. Now will it be this easy around my friends ? I doubt it. This is why I am a little reluctant to see people. Thus I stay home, reading, writing and sorting out my life. Gee, who knew that quitting smoking could actually help me focus ?

More later.

Day 1

My cousin suggested I start a blog about quitting smoking and while I'm not sure I can produce words and well-constructed sentences on the subject on a daily basis I figured I'd give it a try. After all, this is the beginning of a new life, a smoking-free, cancer-free, bad-breath-free, sore-throat-in-the-morning-free existence. Yay.

So I haven't smoked in more than twelve hours and so far I'm doing fine. Green tea is my new motto.

First benefit : no more time wasted on repeated ashtray check before leaving my nest.


The worst is yet to come, of course.